Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink. –Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it. –His reply
“When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.”
A drunk man's words are a sober man’s thoughts.
The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.
“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” Frank Sinatra